Kinky Wolf

  Kinky Wolf

  An Alpha Wolves Love Curves Novel

  Aidy Award

  If you live among wolves,

  you have to howl like a wolf

  Russian Proverb

  Contents

  The Fate of Wolfkind is in His Broken Hands~

  1. Cursed

  2. Crazy

  3. Fifty First Dates

  4. Flirting and Other Dangerous Games

  5. Let’s Make a Deal

  6. Denial Ain’t a River, Sister

  7. Sacrificial Wolf

  8. I See Dead People

  9. New Moon Prison

  10. The Couple That Slays Together

  11. Marked by the Alpha

  12. Secrets

  13. Challengers and Other Bad Guys

  14. Demons Stink

  15. Fight, Fight, Fight

  16. Live and Learn in Hell

  17. Heavy is the Crown

  18. Howling at the Moon

  Acknowledgments

  Also by Aidy Award

  About the Author

  The Fate of Wolfkind is in His Broken Hands~

  Niko Troika gave up everything, his pack, his best friend, his ability to shift, to ensure the entire wolf-shifter society wasn't exposed. He saved them all from total destruction, but he simply doesn't have anything left to save himself. Under the light of a full moon, he finds his salvation...in her. His one true mate. The one woman whose heart he broke and would never love him again.

  Zara's been to hell, and it's filled with greedy wolf-shifters. She won’t let anything stop her from her crusade to save anyone else from being driven insane like she was. Not even love.

  But the two of them are caught in the middle of a pack war, and something dark and sinister doesn’t want either of them to remember who or what they truly are.

  Cursed

  Niko lay sweaty and naked under the full moon. He stared up at the goddess who’d done this to him and cursed her name.

  He’d chosen to sacrifice everything to her. Keeping her and all of wolfkind safe were worthy causes. He should have been rewarded with an afterlife of fluffy clouds and mountains of bacon. Instead he had a broken mind and his ability to shift into his Wolf form taken away.

  What was he supposed to do now?

  Stop fucking feeling sorry for himself, for a start. So he wasn’t a wolf shifter. So he wasn’t an Alpha anymore and would never lead his own pack into the future. So what if he’d given up everything good in his life, including his true mate?

  His brothers were safe, mated to their true mates, and each had their own packs now. The Volkovs weren’t going to pull wolfkind back into the dark ages, and that should be enough.

  He’d done more than his duty. Pride in that should sustain him for a thousand years.

  Niko's heart beat hard against his chest and his vision tunneled. Doc had said if the darkness swirled, he could just say he was going to think about it tomorrow and then find something else to focus on. Like he was some kind of spoiled Southern belle.

  There wasn’t a whole hell of a lot that could steal his mind away when the plague of despair infected him. Killing his best friend wasn’t something he was going to simply get over. That night haunted him, hunted him, horrified him.

  He wouldn't think about that now. He wouldn’t think about the Volkovs, Russia, or the tragedy he'd caused right now. He'd think about that tomorrow.

  There was only one other memory he could call on to push away the attack of anguish threatening to drown him. He'd retreated into the gentle caress of this oblivion too often, using the warmth he found there like a drug. She was his crutch, a way to numb everything else. He wasn't ready for rehab.

  Niko closed his eyes on the night, ignoring the pull of the full-moon, for the brilliant beautiful glow of Zara. Niko let the bright light of the memory take over his mind. The tension in his muscles melted away, the specters of self-hatred receded, all replaced by her.

  If only they were both still teenagers. If only he hadn't broken up with her when he left for Russia. He wouldn't think about that now.

  His vision of her wasn't fuzzy or marred with age. She was as clear and crisp as 8K television just like she was every time he thought of her. She smiled at him, and he reached for her, needing so much to bask in her sweetness.

  Only this time, her smile faltered, a flash of hurt and sorrow crossed her face, and tears flowed from her eyes. Niko reached for them to wipe them away. When he touched their wetness, his fingers were on his own face.

  Zara wasn’t the one crying. He was. Fuck. Not again.

  Instead of reliving his favorite memory of their first night together so long ago, he was back at the battle for Kosta’s pack. Back to lying on the ground, bleeding, waiting for Zara to recognize him. Seeing her held captive by that asshole, Ramsey Crescent, had nearly ripped his soul from his body. Especially knowing he couldn’t do anything to help her.

  He was helpless. So weak, so disconnected from everything he’d ever known... So alone.

  Niko opened his eyes and filled his vision with the bright light of the moon. Even she had forsaken him. The pull of her magic, the urge to shift into his Wolf, pulled on him from deep inside. When he sought out the beast within, it didn’t answer.

  Niko didn’t deserve to have the Wolf any longer. Not since he’d abused his Alpha strength and power. Not since Russia. The depths of his misdeeds roiled in his chest and stomach, and he quickly rolled in the grass, hurling bile and acid into the leaves.

  He stayed hunched over, dry heaving and gasping for air until, finally, the nausea subsided. It took a few more minutes for the ringing in his head and the cold sweat to recede. He deserved every second of his miserable existence, but he was damn tired of it.

  Either he stopped wallowing in this stagnant and deadly misery, or he fucking did something about changing the destructive path he was on. Being the alpha of his pack was off the table. Without his wolf pretty much anything he’d ever imagined for his own future was no longer an option.

  Fine. But he wouldn’t be a drain on the Troikas. He could still be a productive member of the pack. His life would be that of a human now. Humans did lots of things wolves could do, too. Some of his best friends were humans.

  Someone he loved was human.

  Maybe, just maybe, if he could prove himself worthy, and make himself into a better man than he’d ever been a wolf, he could win her back.

  That was probably too much to ask.

  He would try anyway. He had to. At this point, it was either try to pull his head out of his ass, or wallow in the darkness surrounding him until he died. Real happiness may not be in the cards for him ever again, not with a vital part of himself missing, but winning Zara’s heart back and seeing her happy might be as close as he could ever get.

  A lump formed in his throat, and he had to swallow down the fear that he could pull the beautiful angel down into his own hell. He would have to guard her from his darkness, not let her see his true self cowering in the hidden places of his mind. Niko would protect her

  If she would have him. That was no guarantee. It was a place to start, though.

  In slow, measured movements, he got to his feet. One vertebrae at a time, he stood up straight. The light of the moon was brighter now, neither clouds, nor Niko’s own dark thoughts blocked the rays calling to his blood. He’d spent his last night as a wolf in her glow, so it was right that he spent his final night before embracing a new human life basking under her as well.

  Tomorrow, in the light of day, the full moon would be no more than it was to any other human. No, her light would now symbolize his rebirth as an ordinary, average Joe Schmoe. A Joe who had wrongs of the past to right.

  Starting with the woman whose heart he broke.

/>   If he had his wolf, he’d sneak over to the hospital where Zara healed from the wounds, both mental and physical, inflicted on her by those damn Bay Pack wolves. He would watch over her in her sleep and make sure no shifter ever bothered her again.

  Think like a human, stupid. Humans didn’t watch each other sleep unless they were creepy stalkers. That meant he would wait until a reasonable hour in the morning and go see her during normal hospital visiting hours.

  He’d bring her flowers... Wait, bouquets were nothing more than dead plants. Fine then, a small flowering plant in a pot. His mother should know where he could get something like that in town. Niko had been in Russia for so long, he hardly knew his way around his own hometown anymore.

  Sleepy Folk, the speakeasy bar his family owned, was still going strong, especially since Max had taken over the day-to-day operations. Maybe Niko could help out there. He was part owner. The bar was a safer choice than Kosta’s club.

  That place reminded him a little too much of the clubs he and Mik spent time in during the long, cold Russian winters. Although, The Naughty Wolf was a hell of a lot tamer than the BDSM clubs owned by the Volkovs.

  Niko picked up his pace and jogged through the Reserve and back toward the pack house. No way he should be thinking about domination and submission and Zara in the same thought.

  He broke into a run.

  No way he should be thinking of Zara on her knees, wrapped in miles of red rope, her legs spread, her pussy dripping wet for him.

  Niko sprinted through the trees, letting the bushes scrape his legs and the branches slap his face, neck, and arms.

  No way in hell should he even entertain the thought of having her across his lap, her plump soft ass in the air, pink from his spankings, begging him to let her come.

  The muscles in his legs burned, his lungs matching the pain as Niko pushed himself to run faster than was humanly possible. Faster. Faster, harder, he had to push his body so he could stop thinking about hers and all the things he wanted to do to it. The forested area of the Reserve opened into his family’s spacious backyard, and Niko gave one final push of speed.

  Wolves howled not far off, probably scenting his desperation. Max and Kosta patrolled their new and expanded territories along with their Enforcers. There wasn’t much the patrols missed, and there was probably already a new round of gossip spreading through the ranks about him.

  That was nothing new. Being the heir to one of the most powerful packs around had given Niko plenty of practice being in the spotlight of wolf culture. He’d been destined to be a star. How he had fallen.

  He wanted nothing more than to fade into obscurity. Let everyone forget he’d been groomed to be the best of the best alphas. Because then maybe they also wouldn’t remember he was the right hand man of the Wolf Tzar, whose death had thrown their entire world into chaos.

  Whose death was all his fault.

  The one person who wouldn’t care was Zara. She hadn’t even known about werewolves like him until now. She’d probably be happy he wasn’t a wolf anymore. One more reason he had to find a way to win her back.

  Niko slammed into the wall of the pack house, using it to stop his momentum. He bent over, hands on his legs, panting from the effort and his frustration. His cock was just as hard now as a few minutes ago and no amount of physical exertion was going to get rid of it.

  Niko slipped quietly into the pack house even though it was unlikely anyone was here this late. Another thing he’d have to adjust to if he was going to live his life as a human. Christ, he hadn’t had to keep daylight hours since he’d graduated from high school. Even then he’d been a night owl and missed morning classes more often than not. Wolves were nocturnal, but he wasn’t a wolf anymore, so he’d better get used to getting up in the morning and going to bed at night.

  He headed for the shower already stroking his hard-on. He’d have to settle for living out his fantasies of dominating her, making her come and come and come, with his own hand around his cock. Getting those fantasies out of his system before he went to see her at the hospital was imperative, but likely impossible.

  The Zara he’d left eight years ago to do his duty to his family and all wolfkind, was a soft and naïve teenager who’d only just given him her virginity. Hell, he’d been just as young and inexperienced back then. A couple of years with the Volkovs had changed all that for him.

  She would always be his shining angel of innocence. He could imagine the slap across the face she’d give him for even suggesting she let him tie her up, spank her curvy ass, pull her hair, all while making her pussy sing with want and need.

  No. His Zara might let him get as dirty as allowing him to go down on her, but she was a missionary style partner. So Niko would be, too. A vanilla human life was just what he needed to start over.

  He’d keep both of them safe and protected in the staid existence of non-supernatural everyday living. No more wolves for her, no more wolf for him.

  That’s what he wanted. It’s what he needed.

  Somehow he’d convince himself of that because, as far as he could tell, being a boring, middle-class, average citizen was his only choice if he wanted to stay sane and alive. Plus Zara had been through more than enough excitement for most humans’ entire lives. This would be what was best for her, too.

  For her, he could do it. He could be ordinary.

  Crazy

  These days there wasn’t much Zara was sure of, but she did know one thing. Mental hospitals were the worst . The one she was in now was so uninspiring that she couldn’t even make a joke about how it sucked, and not in the good way. Pale blue walls, feelings groups, and paint your trauma, certainly weren’t helping her get better.

  She probably should have checked herself into a place like this years ago. No. That wasn’t true. She’d done a perfectly fine job holding her hallucinations at bay for years. Stress triggered her episodes, and she’d learned the art of self-medicating through cupcakes and movie binges real fast. Meditation helped too, but not as well as chocolate ganache frosting on a batch of Heli’s homemade cake balls.

  There was one other thing that helped her keep her self-diagnosed schizophrenia from controlling her life. She’d sooner admit she occasionally had conversations with imaginary rainbow dragons than let anyone know that she fantasized about her ex-boyfriend. Her high school sweetheart no less.

  Kinky fantasies where he tied her up and bit her and sent her screaming into subspace had gotten her through more than a few stressful times. She got squirmy just thinking about it.

  But now that Niko was back in town, she had to keep a tight lid on those fantasies. They were completely inappropriate. Especially for a woman like her, who’d just been trafficked.

  Her captors hadn’t sexually assaulted her, unless her crazeballs hallucinations had also blocked a trauma like that from her consciousness. But the doctors hadn’t found any signs of abuse to her body. Which was why she was in a mental hospital and not a regular one.

  She had a few bumps and bruises that weren’t going to heal overnight, but it was the world of make-believe she’d invented to block out the real memories of what happened that would keep her here.

  Seriously? Werewolves?

  That’s what her mind had come up with to explain the bad things that were happening to her and around her... Freaking werewolves. She’d read one too many paranormal romance novels for her brain to have conjured up that baloney. At least it hadn’t been vampires.

  The only reason they didn't have her in a padded room drooling from a whole host of drugs was because she was calm, cool, and collected. She'd been dealing with her strange fugue-state-like hallucinations for eight years. None had ever been quite as elaborate as this one, but she'd never been kidnapped before either.

  She discussed a course of treatment with the doctors that included outpatient services. She knew her rights and was good at advocating for them. No one was going to scare her into admitting herself into any long-term psychiatric care without de
monstrating that she was a danger to herself or others.

  Two or three days in the hospital was her limit. She was going home. Maybe today, maybe not. But by tomorrow definitely. While she was fully aware she needed to take care of her mental health, she had bigger fish to fry. Namely that evil bastard Ramsey Crescent.

  Oh yeah, he was going to fry.

  In the electric chair.

  Not only had he kidnapped Zara and dragged her across state lines, he had a whole mess of other women held prisoner in his fancy-pants mansion in Cape Cod. Women who were slated to be mated to Crescent pack wolves.

  Wait... No. That was part of the story her mind had made up. Zara clenched her fists and dug her nails into her hands trying to see past the blurred psychotic memories of witches and wolves and war.

  "Zara, sweetie? Are you okay?" Heli's voice filtered in and broke through the dark clouds of Zara's memory. A soft hand touched her tight fist and helped bring her back to reality.

  Zara opened her eyes and smiled at her little sister. "I'm fine. Just concentrating on getting better as fast as I can."

  "That's strange, because you looked like you were about to throw up." Their friend and roommate Galyna stood just behind Heli with a frown on her face. "I should warn you, I can scent emotions, and you smell like a little white lie."

  What a funny thing to say. Especially since Gal was the one who smelled... different. Zara pulled the thin blanket up and tucked it in around her, so they didn't see her free-boobing it in this flimsy hospital gown. "I think you're smelling your upper lip. I'm as fresh as a daisy."