Rebellion (Curvy Seduction Saga Book 2) Page 4

  Tears. Coming. Too many emotions and no control. Everything I had poured from me and finally my mind and body released the pain, released the pleasure. I screamed out my orgasm until my voice broke and my world went dark.

  Warm hard bodies wrapped around me, releasing me from the bindings and gag, bringing me back from the brink of oblivion.

  I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted to stay in that darkness where nothing hurt.

  “Shh, that’s it, Angel, let it all out. Shh.”

  Sobs wracked me until I couldn’t breathe. Every hurt from the last twenty-some odd years circled my throat and were pushed out by the knowledge that these three men were here to take them from me, if only for the moment.

  I cried for Gray. I cried for my father and Marc and Mindy, for all the concern trolls with their nasty comments, for all the magazines, media, and TV shows that make women like me feel I wasn’t good enough.

  I cried for me.

  I cried until I couldn’t cry any more.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Renewal

  They say there are five stages of grief.

  I was in stage two according to “they”. Anger.

  Whoever the fuck “they” were, they could suck it, because this was no damn stage. Anger was a state of being for me. I embraced it, I lived in it. Anger was my new boyfriend.

  Fuck anyone who didn’t want to be with me. Gray didn’t want to be with me, fine. I knew someone who did.

  “Hey, Tate. Call me when you get the message. Just wanted to give you the FBO I booked for the plane and our flight times. Kisses.”

  Now to finish packing. Every shirt, dress, and pair of panties I had reminded me of Gray, so I threw them out and bought new ones. Then I bought new luggage he’d never carried for me.

  And a new plane.

  I sat on my bed cutting the tags off the twenty-three pairs of silk, lace, and leather panties, the twelve custom-made corsets, the imported kimono, and two new pairs of fuck-me-red high heels. I threw in a few new t-shirts and a couple pairs of Seven jeans for the days I wasn’t working in the club. I made sure to leave room for the thigh-high leather boots I was having made. Patent leather, silk lacing, six-inch stilettos I’d learn to walk in or die trying.

  “Angelina.” Cade stood in my doorway, leaning against the frame.

  He had this new confidence, like the world had been handed to him on a platter and he knew it was his for the taking. I liked this new him. “How long have you been standing there?”

  He grinned and walked to the foot of my bed. “Not long enough.”

  So sweet, and in another life, I might have been happy having him, but not this go around. “You’re not here just to ogle me while I pack, are you?”

  “No.” He lifted my chin. I hadn’t even realized I’d looked away. “I’m not going to Texas with you.”

  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Stalin. “I know.”

  “I can’t play second fiddle. I thought I could, but I either need you for my own, or I need to go.”

  I laughed. Not a cute chuckle either. More like a snort of derision. The anger did that to me, even if it wasn’t fair to Cade. “I can’t give myself to anyone right now anyway. Not you. Not even Gray. Not that he wants me anyway.”

  Cade went from the gentleman, who came to lay his heart on the line to that beautiful harsh Dom. He sat up straight and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Don’t believe that for a second. He was... is in love with you.”

  No. He wouldn’t have left me if he was. “He was in love with the old Angelina.”

  He let go and sat on the bed next to me. “Is she really very different than this one?”

  The old Angelina was a lifetime away. “Yeah, she was a bigger mess than I am now, if you can believe that.”

  Cade held ran his hand into my hair, but this time didn’t hold it tight like he loved to. “I don’t. Why do you? What did the old Angelina want?”

  The anger boiled in me. “She was weak and meek. She needed to be taken care of and controlled.”

  The hand in my hair pulled tight tugging on my scalp. There was the Cade I needed.

  “She was a victim?”

  Christo. When he said it like that it cut my heart in two. “Of course, I was. Even in bed. I always played the submissive. It turned me on, but it was a crutch. When I get to Texas I’m never going to be weak like that again. Men will bow down to me and kneel at my feet.”

  He tilted my head back until I had to look up at him. “Being submissive isn’t weak.”

  “Being a Dominatrix isn’t either.”

  Cade didn’t say anything, but frowned a little looking at me like he wasn’t sure he should tell me I was being dumb or not. “Maybe. There is strength in both, especially when we can find the right person to share that dynamic with.”

  I tore my gaze away, unable to look at the truth in his eyes. He allowed me to pull away. My pillows were damn sure interesting at the moment and I grabbed one propping it across the front of me.

  “Angelina, I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out. I don’t even think I know how to love, not after seeing what you and Gray have.”

  “You mean nothing?” I snapped.

  “Your head’s pretty far up your ass if you believe that.”

  The silence dragged on another full minute until I had to fill it with anything other than admitting Cade was right.

  I stood and crossed the room. Cade was too close to an uncomfortable truth and yet so far away from it. If we had a soul deep love, where was Gray? Where was I?

  I cleared my throat and picked at the clasp on one of my suitcases. “What will you do now? Are you going to finish school here or go back to Poland?” Which seemed like a strange thing to say, since we’d never talked about his home country.

  Cade shook his head in the way one does to a small child. “I’ll let you change the subject for now. I’ve said what I needed to.”

  I let out a quick sigh, silently thanking the universe for that small contrition. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  He shook his head. “We both know I’m not from Poland, sweetness.”

  How many bubbles did this man think he could burst in one day without leaving a mark? “I know no such thing.”

  He let me stay in my world of denial. “Fine. I will not be going to Poland, now or anytime soon. I’ll be looking for a new job, or trying to get a loan to finish paying for school.”

  I dropped the earring I was playing with like it was hot. “No, you will not.” I stomped back across the room and got right up in his face. Well, his chest. “I’ll pay your tuition until you’re done with your master’s degree.”

  He shook his head. “That is not our deal.”

  “Fuck our deal.” I poked him in said chest to emphasize my words, and because it was nice to get my hands on such a great chest.

  He, of course, spoiled my fun and grabbed my finger from its resting point on his pectoral. “I’m not your personal charity.”

  I had enough charities and Cade wouldn’t be a good tax write off anyway. I conceded. But I knew how to be smarter than anyone thought. “Then I’ll hire you.”

  He pressed his lips together into that no-way frown. “For what?”

  In for the kill. “Draw the plans for my future club.”

  “That’s the first I’ve heard of a club and I am not licensed.”

  They all think I’m dumb for some reason. He didn’t need to know it was the first I’d thought of having a club. It made sense to me though. If I couldn’t have Gray, I needed something really important to me in my life.

  Not a place like The Asylum, but where people who wanted to explore their sexuality like I had could go. Not scary, but welcoming.

  “But you will be. I’m hiring you now to be my architect. I spend the next six months during this apprenticeship studying the business too. I don’t want some generic building and I don’t want a copy of The Asylum. I need someone who understands the lifestyle and that I can trust to draw my club.
Who else could I possibly hire but you?”

  He thought about it. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “No, one set of drawings is not worth an entire year’s tuition.”

  What was it with this guy and always doing right by me? I thought fast. “Then be an investor in the club.”

  He chuckled. “I think you have that backward. An investor gives you money.”

  I pulled my finger away from him and shook it. I knew what I was doing. “You’ll give me the designs and I’ll take your percentage of the profit from the club until the cost of your education is paid off.”

  Cade paced from my bed, back to me, to the bed and back again. “You’re confused about how loans and investors work.”

  “You’re too smart for your own good. Take the deal.” I waited while he weighed those pros and cons. He’d see it my way pretty damn quick. I was offering a good deal whether he saw it or not. He’d be providing me with a service. Not the one I had originally intended, but still.

  “Fine. I accept. We will renegotiate after I graduate.”

  “Good.” I gave him a quick peck on the cheek to seal the deal. “In the meantime, will you please stay here at the brownstone and keep an eye on things while I’m away?”

  He threw his arms into the air. “Angelina, you’re away for the next six months.”

  “Yes, and?” The old eyebrow up, arms folded, you’ll do what I say thing should still work on him.

  “I ca—”

  “Don’t even think about saying you can’t. I’m your mistress, you do what I say.” We both knew I had never controlled Cade. I was grateful he was the dominant one in our relationship.

  He laughed. “Yes, mistress.”

  I was a little jealous of whatever women eventually captured his heart.

  My phone rang, and Tate’s number popped up on the screen. I kissed Cade on the other cheek to seal the rest of our deal. “Sorry, gotta take this.”

  Cade nodded and left me to my devices.

  “Tate.”

  His southern drawl pulled me from the light place Cade had gotten me and back to the dark world I was about to enter. “Angel. All ready to come down?”

  I looked at my bags. “I am. Are you ready for me?”

  “Sure thing, darlin’.”

  I let him have the darlin’. But that wouldn’t last long. I was nobody’s term of endearment. “Good, now I want to talk about some ideas I had for my role at your club.”

  “Do tell.” He was so easy. Too easy maybe.

  I had a plan and even if I had doubts about Tate, placed in my head by one Grayson Baker, I was moving forward. I had to. “Do you have a business plan for your club?”

  “Let’s not talk business, honey. Let’s talk fun. I was hoping to plan your first scene. I’ve been playing it in my head since the first moment I saw that shapely ass.”

  I could practically hear him unbuttoning his pants already. “I’m not subbing for you, Tate. I’m there to learn to be a true Dominatrix. I also have decided to open a club of my own and I want insight into the business.”

  “Hmm. You think you can give up being a switch? Do the Domme thing full time?”

  It did not escape me that he still hadn’t answered my question. “I think I can be a damn good Domme. It’s time to have some men under my control.”

  Some control over my own life.

  The sound of the phone being covered and then soft voices I couldn’t make out came from the speaker. A second later Tate came back on the line. “I’ll let you use The Ranch as your case study, but I’ve already made arrangements for someone to train you. If you want to apprentice here you’ll have to not only submit to his method of training...”

  He didn’t finish that sentence. I got what his meaning just fine. I’d have to submit to my trainer.

  Was that who was he whispering and consulting with?

  Right now, I wasn’t going to argue. I admitted that I knew only enough about Domination and submission to be dangerous. If this trainer was legit in making me submit because it would teach me what I wanted to know, then I’d do it. “I accept, thank you. Then—”

  “I have one condition.”

  Great. Of course, he did. I could practically taste Tate’s excitement.

  “I’m your first customer.”

  Pendejo “We’ll see. You’ll need to be a very naughty boy to be allowed to play with me.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.” The phone muffled again. “There’s a whole line up here waiting for you.”

  “Really? Anyone I know?” I didn’t know anyone in Austin.

  Tate was practically giggling. “It’s a surprise. I can’t wait to see your reaction.”

  “I’m hanging up now.” For the first time in a week the anger bubbling inside me only simmered instead of boiled over. Tate and his games gave me something else to focus on besides Gray, and the way Cade said I had my head up my ass about him.

  I did not.

  Dominic came in and grabbed the rest of my suitcases. “Mistress, the rest of the bags are in the car. Cade has informed us you are keeping him here. Ilario and I are ready to go when you are.”

  “Thank you, Dominic.”

  The relationship between us had changed just the slightest after the night in Gray’s room. Neither of us were in charge, neither submitting to the other. I wasn’t sure where we were going.

  To Texas, I guess.

  Time to get my Domme on.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Keep Austin Weird

  The plane landed an hour ago, and I couldn’t force myself to get out of my seat. I’d boarded in an angry haze, stared out the window unseeing for three hours and successfully ignored the fact that Gray wasn’t with me, and probably never would be again.

  I pretended to move on.

  Inside my soul sang a mad, sad song. The same one that had been playing over and over for the last two weeks. Gray’s gone, Gray’s gone, Gray’s really gone.

  I hated that song. It was so depressing and repetitive. I’d done a lot of desperate actions to get rid of it, including packing up and moving me and my harem to Texas to start a whole new life.

  Here awaited a new life where I got to be in charge. I was about to start my training to be a Dominatrix. But not if I didn’t get off this damn plane.

  “Angelina,” Dominic’s voice, usually so patient, had an edge to it, “we have kept your hosts waiting long enough. It is time to leave the strange little airport and settle into our new accommodations.”

  My gaze fixed on nothing, not wanting to see the situation in front of me. “I know.”

  He took my hand. “Good. Then let’s go.”

  I took my hand back and tucked it under my ass. “Not yet.”

  “You said that an hour ago. When will your yet be over?”

  “I don’t know.” How about never.

  I didn’t want to get off the plane. I wanted to go back in time to when Gray had talked me into training for the BDSM lifestyle. Before I’d fucked it all up.

  I was sitting on a plane that landed an hour and a half ago wishing he was here with me.

  La madre que me.

  “Angelina, let go of these memories of Grayson that are haunting you. Get off the plane and let’s go to this new club and play. That is why we are here in Texas, is it not?”

  My head snapped up to look at the russet eyes staring at me, goading me into starting my new life. It was stupid of me to think he wouldn’t know what was going through my head right now. I wasn’t used to anyone calling me out on my shit like Dominic had. Except for Gray.

  Oh geez, even I was getting sick of my own broken record. Restraints of fear and doubt held me to the chair stronger than any seatbelt, ropes, or silk ties.

  He leaned forward placing his arms on the armrests, caging me in to my own little pity party. “Enough.”

  I sank back into my chair as far as I could, and with the plush seats on my jet, that was deep, like my self-doubt. “We should go back t
o the city. I’ll buy a sex toy shop or something instead.”

  Dominic stood up to his full height, his head almost touching the ceiling of the little plane. “Mistress.”

  He reached down, unbuckled my seatbelt and picked me up like a sack of potatoes. Before I knew it, I was staring at the back of his shirt. While his ass was a sight to behold, I did not like being handled like a sack of potatoes. Even if that’s how I was behaving.

  “Put me down.” I pounded on his back and kicked my legs.

  “No. We are going to the club where you will command Ilario and I to pleasure you, and you will forget about all your silly ideas of needing any man to make your life what you want it to be.”

  I felt the heat on my upturned bum before I saw the hot sun of Texas bearing down on us. “Dominic, you’re making me look ridiculous. I’m the one who is supposed to be in charge here.”

  “You are. I’m simply helping you get started.” He took the steps off the plane as if I weighed, well, a whole lot less than I did.

  “Ah bella, there you are. Our new friends were starting to think you were not going to accept their hospitality.” Ilario trotted along behind Dominic. Sweat beaded on his upper lip, maybe from the heat, maybe from my antics.

  The farther across the tarmac we went, the more I wanted to become invisible. I could either pound on Dominic’s back demanding he take me back to the plane, sprint there myself when he finally put me down, neither of which seemed likely, or suck it up, buttercup, and make a go of getting deep in the heart of Texas.

  A familiar Texas twang rang through the air. “That’s right, darlin’. I’m all for the fun of anticipation, but it’s a lot more exciting with an orgasm at the end instead of a plain ole car ride.”

  Dominic plopped me down directly in front of the long, tall drink of cowboy known as Tate Hall, owner of the Red Ranch BDSM club, and switch extraordinaire.

  On anyone else the dark brown leather chaps over jeans and open western style shirt would have been ridiculous. On Tate, they had him looking like he’d walked off the pages of Playgirl: Cowboy edition.